no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
