I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
