your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
