just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
