my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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