guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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