I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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