So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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