I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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