You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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