her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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