I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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