Pants 0. Shit 1.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
