is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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