So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
