Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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