I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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