If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
