I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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