i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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