Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
