Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
