My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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