There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
FUCK WHALES
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
