we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Randomize
