I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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