you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
