who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
