its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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