How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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