so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
