Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
