actually, I'm a sock model
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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