does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
my poor anus
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
