So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
