Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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