Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
