Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
one might say we're banned from that church
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
