just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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