i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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