You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i now understand why vodka
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
