ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
