How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
