His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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