I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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