You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
