Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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