You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
