So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
