I didn't shave. On purpose
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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