can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
