Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
