What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
