but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
