Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
